CD, Ninthwave Records, 2007
When I first held The Garland Cult’s “Protect Yourself From Hollywood” in my hand the initial adjective that sprung to mind was “flamboyant”. This exactly describes the cover art, which is bright pink and complete with a glittery bubble letter font. This band wears their sound on their sleeve and the sleeve screams ‘Pop’. The Garland Cult is composed of Aidan Casserly and Lar Kiernan, two members of the Irish act Empire State Human. In this musical incarnation, Casserly and Kiernan bill themselves as ‘the most glam pop act in Ireland’ and “Protect Yourself From Hollywood” offers the listener 42 minutes of glitzy decadence.
Ireland’s self-proclaimed most glam pop act incorporates a wide variety of dance music style. The album ranges from a glam rock/electroclash fusion as seen in “All Good Things” to a blend of 90’s freestyle sound used in conjunction with new wave vocals as showcased on “Impossible”. “Style” comes across as the best song on the CD in my opinion thanks to it’s catchy trance keyline. However “Self Control”, a cover of the 1984 dance hit originally sung by Laura Branigan, could use some improvement. The track was a little dull due to losing some of the melody from the original song. “Clara Rockmore” would resonate well with fans of Miss Kittin, with its robotic, cold and detached female vocals. The second disc, “Qubiq Goes To Hollywood” features an artist named Qubiq and adds an additional 41 minutes and 5 remixes to this release. While the remixes don’t drastically alter the originals, they accommodate for live DJ mixing in a club atmosphere.
In general the tone of “Protect Yourself From Hollywood” is best summed up in the track “Pity Party”. The lyrics promise you “cash, pills, tears and wine”, which sounds like a scene straight out of the movie “Party Monster”. If partying until dawn isn’t really your scene at the very least this CD would create a pleasant soundtrack for relaxing with a tasty martini or putting on your makeup (regardless of gender).
— Bea W.